Does this sound like a typical Monday morning for you?
You arrive at the office at 10:30ish with a daunting list of tasks to check off by the end of the day.
(You knew leaving at 4:30 for Happy Hour at Fibber McGee’s on Friday would come back to bite you, but the complimentary nachos and Buffalo chicken mini sliders always run out by 5:15.)
You sit down with a hot cup of coffee to clear out the cobwebs and start working on the restructured supply chain proposal that is due by noon.
Then your mind wanders as you overhear two colleagues discussing who murdered who on last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette: Survival Island.”
You look at the clock, which reads 10:58. You have produced 117 words of the 1,000-word proposal. If you can just write about 150 words every 10 minutes everything will be OK.
But then a cacophony of laughter from the IT pool jolts your concentration. Apparently one of the sales guys tried to install the latest security patch before updating his OS and now his kernel is fried and he inadvertently bricked his notebook. What a dork.
You’re up to 203 words and it’s now 11:18. You’re going to have to increase the pace.
Your work bestie leans over from his desk, which neighbors yours, and asks if you want to walk to Starbucks for a pumpkin spice frappe. Maybe a caffeine boost will help you achieve the 30-word-per-minute pace you’ll need to meet your deadline, so you give in.
When you get back, ready to finally crack down, you have an email from your supervisor asking if she can reschedule the proposal meeting until 3 p.m. She fell behind schedule when she became distracted by a conversation about the cloak that Sasha Fierce wore to the iHeartRadio Music Awards show.
Phew, saved by the bell…
Does this scenario sound disturbingly familiar?
If so, the solution is here.
ConstantBuzz—the new open office noise cancellation software from Noise Deputy—launches later this year, and Capterra was granted an exclusive trial.
Noise Deputy created the software specifically for Unicorn companies who pride themselves on collaborative, open offices but have seen productivity slip due to Chatty Cathys and Gabby Gregs.
“Collaboration is key to every Unicorn,” said Noise Deputy CTO Lane Haversham. “But even the hippest, most pop-culturally aware office needs to buckle down and get some work done every once in awhile.”
ConstantBuzz version 1.1 blasts white noise through your computer’s existing speakers to drown out rackety coworkers up to 10-feet away. (Noise Deputy says that a ConstantBuzz DX upgrade is in the works for employees who sit near the kitchen or Skee-Ball machine.)
Features planned for the beta version include:
- Integration with Pandora to produce a hypnotizing melody that can safely sedate especially raucous offenders.
- Proprietary voice-throwing technology to play a stern librarian’s shushing sound effect from across the room whenever coworkers begin to talk above 60 decibels.
- Optional pop-up MiniDome™ accessory to enclose one’s work space in lightweight, one-way mirroring sailcloth, protecting against colleagues that attempt to commandeer attention by waving arms, shouting, throwing pennies, etc.
Noise Deputy anticipates a public release of ConstantBuzz by the beginning of Q3.