I just spent the past hour of my work Gchatting my favorite coworker, planning my dream vacation, and reading Buzzfeed. I don’t have anything that’s due until next week and I don’t really feel like doing any of it yet. Like I’ll get it all done. Just like… next week.
Of course, 5 minutes ago, my boss just appeared behind me.
This is exactly what happened.
Has that ever happened to you? You’re peacefully minding your own business, not doing your work, planning a dream vacation when your boss just appears behind you and you have to scramble to explain why one of your screens is coated in a dream board of palm trees? (Your other screen is cleverly covered with a spreadsheet.) You find yourself explaining that you read a study somewhere that having palm trees up on your second screen while you work on a spreadsheet makes you more efficient, while your boss’s eyebrows get higher and higher until they interrupt you to say, “I need the TPS reports by the end of the hour.” And then they walk away. And now your whole zen vibe is ruined.
Yeah, so that didn’t happen to me. Because I have procrastination management software. Procrastination management software gives me the peace of mind I need to surf the internet, chat up my colleagues, or take a nap at my desk.
“So what is procrastination management software? How much does it cost?” I hear you asking. And before I answer you, I’d like to take a moment and go read some Buzzfeed articles, because you don’t really need an answer right now.
[43.2 minutes later]
Ok I’m ready to answer you now. Those cat videos really inspired me.
Procrastination management software is an elegant program that monitors when your boss, or other important people of your choosing come into a radius that allows them to see your screen, and immediately pops an appropriate spreadsheet or other work material into your screen – and it does it so quickly, your boss won’t even see. Many procrastination management solutions are even capable of fully closing whatever you were playing around with and saving it for later. All solutions are completely undetectable by your boss or company. And definitely totally legal.
It’s pretty awesome. As for how much a solution costs, typically they cost about one sold soul, although you can sometimes find a system for as low as an arm and a leg. It’s really nothing for the peace of mind that comes with knowing that your boss will never know that you’re not a perfect employee. And it’s way better than that whole “spreadsheet filling the second screen” business.